Handling Rejection

Rejection is not something I handle very well.  Now when I'm talking about rejection, I'm not referring to the rejection of not being able to sell something or being told no, but the rejection of being told that I'm not good enough for something.  This kind of rejection I have heard so very often through my life and it has a tendency to drive me into an obsessive rage.  I know in my mind and heart that I can do absolutely anything if given the time, knowledge, and resources to do it.  I can recall back to my early theater days when I was very vane and prideful.  I can recall being turned down to sing "Music of the Night" from the Phantom of the Opera, with the statement that my voice wasn't good enough at the time.  Up to that point, I had been singing for over a decade at a professional level, so being told that I wasn't good enough to do that, was like being shot in the heart at point blank range with a shotgun.  It made me absolutely obsessive to the point that I can sing the piece of music on command at any time.  

Now here we are 25 years later and I'm still having to face statements of not being good enough for things like career promotions.  Just recently this occurred and I'm still reeling from it.  It's a very hard pill to swallow to watch people you trained and mentored being promoted past you into positions that you have tried to get for over a decade and constantly being told you aren't good enough.  I want to be happy for these people, I really do, but at this point sensibility has been thrown out the window and once again obsessive rage takes over.  I have been loyal to a fault to the company that has taken almost two decades of my life; taking on vastly more tasks and responsibility than any one else in organization but never once being allowed the positions I apply for.  I find that point funny to the part of sadistically hysterical as I have been promoted and moved into numerous positions in my time with this company, but not one of these positions were ones that I had applied for.  Every positions I have been in, I have been appointed to.  It really is infuriating and it makes it feel like the loyal is really only a one way street with a significant lack of respect.

At this point, I have no idea what the future holds, but I continue to actively look for opportunities as they come and it's unfortunate that the next opportunity may have to be with a new organization.

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